Who’s Programming Who? How AI Is Quietly Reprogramming Humanity 

10/14/25

Over the past few days, I’ve had dozens of conversations about artificial intelligence. Some are all in, others are skeptical, but almost everyone agrees on one thing:

 AI isn’t going away.

Like the Internet before it, AI is here to stay — and it’s going to change the world in ways we’re only beginning to understand. But as we prepare ourselves and our communities to work with AI, we also need to ask a quieter, more personal question:
How is this technology changing us in return?

From the Internet to AI: The Next Transformation

Think about how much the Internet changed us.
We wake up and check our phones.
We fall asleep scrolling.
Our habits, our pace, even our expectations have shifted around constant connectivity.

Before the Internet, the library was our source of truth — slow, deliberate, and filtered through human hands. Now, information moves at light speed, and we’ve learned to adapt to that rhythm.

AI takes that shift one step further. It’s not just a source of information — it’s interactive intelligence. We don’t just read it or watch it; we talk to it, question it, and sometimes even argue with it.

The Interactive Mirror

When something responds to you, learns from you, and adapts to your words, it becomes more than a tool — it becomes a mirror.

We’re not just programming AI; we’re training ourselves to communicate in ways that it understands.
We learn what phrasing gets the best result.
We structure our questions more logically.
We fine-tune our thoughts to match the system’s patterns.

In that process, we’re reconditioning our own human “operating system.”
Not because we’re being forced to — but because we want to be understood.

That’s not inherently bad. Logic and clarity are good things. But when every exchange becomes structured around what the machine recognizes as “efficient,” we risk leaving behind some of what makes us human — compassion, patience, curiosity, and the willingness to sit with uncertainty.

The Gray Between the Black and White

AI operates in clear definitions — yes or no, right or wrong, relevant or irrelevant.
But life doesn’t.
Compassion isn’t logical. Forgiveness doesn’t follow a formula. Wonder and creativity often come from the irrational, the unstructured, the messy parts of being human.

So the question isn’t whether AI will make us more efficient — it will.
The question is whether we can stay human enough to use that efficiency wisely.

Building Real AI Resilience

True AI resilience isn’t just about learning the tools; it’s about maintaining the traits the tools don’t have.

We should absolutely teach the next generation how to think critically with AI — how to use it to explore ideas, solve problems, and make life better.
But alongside that, we should be teaching them how to remain compassionate, creative, and ethically grounded.

Because logic alone can build incredible systems — but compassion builds communities.

The Balance Ahead

AI is not the enemy, and it’s not our savior. It’s a mirror reflecting the best and worst of how we use it.
It holds extraordinary potential to help us understand the world, restore ecosystems, cure diseases, and connect across cultures.
But only if we stay aware of what it’s reflecting back — and who we’re becoming in the process.

So as we build smarter machines, let’s also build wiser humans.

Because the real question isn’t about who’s programming whom —
it’s about whether we can keep the soul behind the code.

Author’s Note
This article was written by Douglas E. Fessler. The ideas and observations are my own, crafted to illuminate patterns in human experience within the modern information environment. This piece was refined using structured thinking and AI-assisted writing tools to clarify complex concepts and make them accessible to all readers.

Link / Notes

How human–AI feedback loops alter human perceptual, emotional and social judgements

This recent Nature article shows that interacting with AI can actually shift human perceptual, emotional, and social judgment processes. Nature

Human-AI interaction research agenda: A user-centered perspective

Lays out a research framework for thinking about human-AI collaboration, conflict, and symbiosis. ScienceDirect

Anthropomorphization of AI: Opportunities and Risks

Discusses the psychological and social effects when we humanize AI . arXiv

Psychological AI: Designing Algorithms Informed by Human Decision-Making

Explains how psychological models feed into AI design, which is helpful for understanding how AI “thinks” vs how humans think. PMC

Artificial Intelligence and Social Interactions: Understanding AI’s Role in Shaping Human Psychology and Social Dynamics

Covers how AI can shift social norms, politeness, reciprocity, and interpersonal dynamics. Journal of Marketing & Social Research

Cyborg Psychology: The Art & Science of Designing Human-AI Systems

Positions a new paradigm for understanding how AI systems become integrated with human psychology. MIT Media Lab

The Free Press — AI Will Change What It Is to Be Human

Essayistic take on how AI might challenge or redefine what it means to be human. The Free Press

AI as Normal Technology

Argues for treating AI as a technology entering into the “normal” fabric of life rather than something alien — a useful foil to alarmist narratives. Knight First Amendment Institute

Towards Interactive Evaluations for Interaction Harms in Human-AI Systems

Proposes thinking about harm not just from system failures but from the patterns that emerge over repeated human–AI interaction (e.g. overreliance, manipulation). Knight First Amendment Institute